First day of school...................

uugggghhhhh...............Mom! No pictures please! 9th grade here I come!

Bai loves her new zombie brains backpack!

My little 2nd grader and favorite 5th grader!

After working all night, Kirk is barely hanging on. It was so important to him to ride with me to take the kids to school.

What was I so worried about last night? The kids did great this morning. It never fails to amaze me that I.................a person who could literally make a career of worrying..............managed to give birth to such sane, rational, easy going children. Bai may have gotten her shyness from me, but she's as confident as her daddy. Just like her brother and sister............they are sure of themselves............even if, at times.........they don't realize it. Why is letting go so hard? I was so proud of Bailey this morning. More often than not, I am the one who needs a shoulder to cry on. Not the other way around. Leaving Bailey was even harder than I'd expected though. She may be the oldest, but she carries my heart with her wherever she goes. If she was nervous, it didn't show. Under stress, she has the calmest face you'll ever encounter. She has more control than I've ever seen. Which makes it even harder to tell(since mother's are supposed to just "know") when something is wrong. As we neared the drop off point, I began to panic, but she was completely unfazed. She said goodbye and stepped out of the car as my little girl. But as she turned to walk away.......................there stood a tall, beautiful, completely composed young lady, full of life and ready for whatever this new phase of her life was going to throw at her. And that is when I began to cry. What happened to my little girl and who was this mystery young lady wearing her clothes????? Next was Maggie and Ryley's turn. They'd already told me that they didn't need me to walk them to class, but I was prepared anyway......just in case. The whole ride to school they talked and smiled. They couldn't wait! They were going to get to see their grandma every day, make new friends...................it was going to be wonderful! So, we pulled into the loop to drop them off and I asked them one more time, "are you sure you don't want me to walk with you?". "No, we're fine! I've got it all memorized in my head!" Maggie said as she started rambling off directions to where grandma stands in the morning and then on to her classroom. Ryley just rolled his eyes at his sister and smiled. Part of me was bursting with pride over how mature they already are, but the other half.......................well, she was getting a little teary eyed because her babies no longer needed her to hold their hand. I'd just started thinking what perfect, nice, caring children I'd raised, when I watched Ryley help Maggie out of the car. How thoughtful, I thought. He handed her school supplies over to her and then, out of nowhere, Maggie threw his lunch box at his head and pushed him out of the way. "Mag!" yelled Ryley...................and there they were..................my "real" children. And in that moment, I realized that everything was just as it should be. As I waved goodbye to them one last time and started to drive away...............Kirk reached over and held my hand. He always knows exactly when I need him. Even after working all night, he made sure to ride with me to drop them off on their first day. He held my hand the whole way home and listened to me ramble on about the kids and occasionally sniffle when I got a little upset. I'd be lost without him.